maybe not....

I'm scared.
Really scared.
Ten times i've been a witness to the new year.

Samhain.

The time when the protection dies and the old is taken away.
Where the shadows and mischief can emerge until the the new is reborn.

i don't want to do this anymore.
The pressure is building up. I can feel it just behind my eyes.
I've taken so many pills but nothing is taking this pain away.
Just his little hits, his little glass bottles.

I'll try to hold off.
Maybe this year if I stay away, hide out, I won't have to go.
Please don't make me go.
Please.