red sky in the morning

Colder today. Didn't post yesterday. Sorry. Just couldn't.

Saw the sky this morning. Red, heavy with threat just hanging there. No sun. It was dark.

I'd been up all night - well i'm up most nights. I don't like the dark. I wait, tv on, need some noise, until I can hold it off any longer and then crash.I leave the tv on thru the night.
If something's coming to get me, mebbe they'll think i'm not alone.
I listen out at night. I can hear things. This place, this silence freaks me out.
Usually got my headphones on during the day - keep them turned up high. The music must be loud, makes me think i'm part of the party, not here.

But i can't do that at night. Need to hear - can't lock myself away. What if he comes and i can't hear it. Protect myself.

The door to the loft is the worst. I'll stand below it - i know it moves - but it won't if i'm watching it - daring it to move. It's warped slightly so it doesn't sit flat - and i know through the crack something's watching me. I know just where the crack starts and finishes. If it moves i'll know it. So i watch and wait - holding my breath. (please don't move, please don't move)

There's bad weather forcast, my heating's gone off. No oil, forgot to pay the bill. So until my cash hits the bank in a couple of days from the state I'm broke.

There, the rain's started - just a few drops on the window.
I don't like this think i'll stay on the web for while.
Hide out.