burn the witch

oh i wish...

maybe not....

I'm scared.
Really scared.
Ten times i've been a witness to the new year.

Samhain.

The time when the protection dies and the old is taken away.
Where the shadows and mischief can emerge until the the new is reborn.

i don't want to do this anymore.
The pressure is building up. I can feel it just behind my eyes.
I've taken so many pills but nothing is taking this pain away.
Just his little hits, his little glass bottles.

I'll try to hold off.
Maybe this year if I stay away, hide out, I won't have to go.
Please don't make me go.
Please.

maybe...

...I must think about this - am I mad?
~Should I be doing this?

I'm twenty-seven sounding like a fuckin teenager - those nasty little creeps who ghost around town with mummys money in their pockets, trying to be oh so scary in hoodie tops.

I heard some guy moan that his school is run by Nazi's - yeah..right..if only.

However bad my life has got, however scared I've been, nothing, nothing has been so bad as feeling the heat of the oven.
I pray they never have to face that.
But then I pray they never have to live my life either.

Answers on a postcard dearest.

suckle

Wandered through the streets this morning while it was quiet, in the shop windows nasty plastic pumpkins, light-up devils horns... time of year I suppose... then I saw some fluffy little neopagan sitting in the rain - tin pentagram round his neck for all the world to see.
“See I'm a floaty woaty fully fledged witch..."

For fucks sake.

What is going on? There's more and more of the fuckers wandering about, pretending to be something that they're not. A plague of work-shy bludgers pretending to be on a mystical path of more stella, more weed...

They fucking call themselves witches - is that a title you'd be proud to bear?
Until fifty years ago, being called a witch was akin to being a sexual deviant.



The church didn't invent the idea that a witch was evil - that they consorted with dark spirits for their own ends - oh no that idea's been around for a much longer time than some skinny guy from Bethlehem.

Jeez, wake up and smell the roses... huh ever tried reading a book that isn't just a bunch of lies from some mad woman in the fuckin states?
Witchcraft has always about using power to influence, to control, another without their knowledge, without their permission.
Then we came along, with all the fucking arrogance of the 'modern' world - too busy to learn the lessons of before.
Fluffy earth lovers clutching their ipods - no, they cried, we're witches, we love the earth, we'll dress up in cheap costumes and indulge in our own little fairy tales.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I know - there were good guys once. They used magic too.
But they won't call themselves witches.
Cunning men - yes, pellars - yes, even wise women if you must.
These folk hunted witches, put them to death, protected us.

Sorry? Yep I know, I'm a city boy - what would I know about witches?

As I said before, the bastard who put me here is a witch.
A pretty powerful one.
I've seen what he can do the hard way, not through feel-good books and websites.
Through, blood. Through vomit. Through screams.

God help us.

Where are the cunning folk? I'm praying they're not recording podcasts.

fragile

lost a couple of days on a bender.

when i woke up, i didn't want to move, the scars are too tight. too raw.
things are spinning. Thirsty..
more tomorrow.